(Disclaimer: This story did not make the front page. It was published on page 4)
This is another recent story from my hometown newspaper. It was entered exactly as written, abbreviated and punctuated:
Family Travels 2,000 Miles During Vacation
On June 4, 2010, Dale “Pete” and Loretta _______ took his mother, Iva Mae ______, to her son’s home, Doug and Pamela ______ at Cleveland, Tenn., for vacation. Dale and Loretta returned home June 5.
While in Tennessee, Mrs. ______ visited with Pamela’s mother and stepfather, James and Doris ______. She also visited with her granddaughter and husband and great-granddaughter, Beth and Michael ______ and Alyssa, and her grandson and wife and great-granddaughter, Matthew and Victoria ______ and Megan. (Still with me so far?)
Mrs. ______ was in the Smoky Mountains the first week. She traveled through Gatlinburg and mined for gems in Pigeon Forge. There she found some semi-precious stones. She also went to North Carolina and had a meal and went to the Casino where she bought some truffles candy.
The second week they traveled to Tampa Bay, Fla., to Busch Gardens and celebrated Doug’s birthday on June 16. They stayed at the LaQuinta Motel while there. Then they went to Daytona Beach, Fla., to the Holiday Inn., located right on the beach. They went to the Chocolate Factory and watched them make candy. Iva Mae also bought some truffles there. (Hey, the lady likes truffles.) They toured the historic lighthouse, the second oldest in the world and the tallest.
The group traveled back to Tennessee on June 19. Douglas brought Mrs. ______ home on June 21.
En route to Florida (bet you thought the story was finished, didn’t you?) they went through Georgia. They enjoyed shopping at Wal-Mart, Target, and Dollar General “high end places”. They ate at Busch Gardens, Cracker Barrel, Red Lobster, Denny’s Logan’s Steak House, Shanes, and Kentucky Fried Chicken. (I'm too busy trying to clean up the soda that just came out of my nose to comment.)
This was a very nice vacation and they are planning on Mrs. ______being down there next year on her vacation.
“We all had a very nice visit and one thing I didn’t have to do wash or dry any dishes, which was a treat for me,” reported Mrs. _____.
The group traveled about 2,000 miles.
(Whew! I don’t know about you, but I'm plum tuckered out.)