Feb 15, 2010

Recipe For Disaster


My husband likes to cook and is very good at it. This works out well as I hate to cook and am very bad at it. But I love to eat. We have an agreement: He cooks. I clean. I don’t mind doing it even though I don’t particularly enjoy cleaning. I made the decision some time ago that I would live with the lesser of two evils (much like the rest of the nation does every four years – I just do it more often).

I’m the sous chef, and when his brother (who also likes to cook) joins him in the kitchen I get to double my fun. I also have a theory. The theory is that because he knows he doesn’t have to clean up he is a very messy cook. (We’ve even had the “how come when you cook I clean up but when I cook I still clean up” discussion on numerous occasions).  It’s always been a silent theory because I know what he’d say if I ever told him which is what happened as I watched him make lasagna recently.

I think that Italian and Mexican foods are the messiest foods to make which is why I’d rather go out for them. Okay, the one time I made Kung Pao Chicken was pretty messy, too. I guess a hamburger on the grill is probably more my style.

ME: You’re so messy. I think you’re messy because you know you won’t have to clean up.
HUSBAND: That’s not true.
ME (as I watched him drop half a scoop of meat sauce on the kitchen counter): *sigh*
HUSBAND: I’ll clean it!
(Later) HUSBAND: I’m taking a break. Then I’ll clean up. (OMG, I hate it when he does this. I know exactly what psychology is at work here.)

He can read me like a book with very large print. The piece of my brain that is part OCD/part anal retentive/part mush kicks in, and I start running the dishwater. I can hear him behind me, rummaging through the cabinets,  saying “I already cleaned up two things.” “How is that?” I ask. “I didn’t use them.”

Game, Set, Match. This is one I always lose because of unforced errors.

4 Passengers in the Car:

Magpie said...

How about you both cook and both cleanup?? Since you're already sous cheffing (is that verb and should I have doubled the "f"?), I think you're already helping. But Bill does cook divinely!!

Kathy said...

You could let Bill cook and eat and you could go out to get your own food, then you can just do my favorite clean-up...toss it in the trash! Of course, I've EATEN Bill's cooking, and there is really nothing out there in the restaurant world that can top what he makes, so you'd be punishing yourself instead of Bill, or as well as Bill. Pass the steak sauce, please.

Red Boots said...

I can't cook, but luckily my boyfriend is good at it - so he cooks and I clean. It works well for us, but yes, I have noticed that he is a very very VERY messy cook, using sometimes 3 times as many pots, plates, utensils than is actually needed, and never putting the spare/leftover cooking ingredients back in the fridge or cupboard. So when he does I go on a dirty protest and refuse to clean or do the dishes until he becomes a more considerate cook!

Simply Colette said...

Loved this story. I used to be in a relationship like that--he cooked, I cleaned, and seemed like he didn't care how many dishes he used. Ha... :) Happy belated birthday to your mom! xoxo